Care at home: How to speak to your elderly parent about care

Jan 31, 2023 | News

Starting the conversation about your elderly parents needing care can be tricky. It’s common for the older generation to want to do things for themselves, without the help of others. This often leads to you noticing your parents needing help at home before they do.

Discussing care options with your elderly parents can sometimes come as an unwelcome surprise. If you want to help your relative understand where you’re coming from, it’s important to plan your approach first.

As experts in care for the elderly with over 23 years experience, please keep reading on how we can help support you on how to speak to your elderly parents or relatives about care.

1. Choose a good moment

All good conversations start with a good setting. People’s attitudes towards receiving care can be negative, especially if they’re unprepared for it, so choose a good moment for the discussion.

Firstly, consider who will have the conversation. Having the whole family involved could work well for some older parents but feel overwhelming for others. Decide who will lead the conversation and who should be present.

Secondly, try to choose a moment when both you and your older parent are feeling calm. The last thing you want to do is start a discussion when you or your parent is stressed or not in a good mood.

Finally, having the conversation in person, when you’re both sitting down and ready to talk, is often better than discussing the matter on the phone. It can be easier to see if your elderly parent is becoming distressed in person and adjust your tone/approach accordingly.

2. Discuss options together

Residential care isn’t the only option for meeting an elderly parent’s needs, but it’s often the one people think about the most. It’s common for older people to perceive residential care as “being sent away,” and this is true to an extent. This can mean that starting the conversation about care gets off to a bad start.

Live-in care is a completely different arrangement that helps your older parents live independently at home with the support they need. It means they won’t have to sacrifice their home or their independent lifestyle just because they need care.

Before the discussion, research the type of care you think will best suit them and how it could improve their life. Present the options to them and allow it to be a discussion, rather than an order.

3. Be prepared for pushback

Finally, be prepared for some pushback. There are so many benefits to live-in care, but remember it may take time for your elderly parent to come around to the idea.

Focus on the positives and try to alleviate their concerns as much as possible. If the discussion is ended abruptly by your parent, or becomes heated, consider ending the conversation and approaching it another time.

If there is resistance, try getting them to agree to small steps first, like watching a video about live-in care the next time you visit or inviting a local live-in care agency to chat with them about the service and what it’s like.

Summary: Choosing live-in care that’s right for your older parents

Speaking to your older parents about live-in care is the first step to getting them the help they need. While the idea of homecare may seem daunting at first for your parent, it can improve their quality of life and help them stay living happily at home for longer.

If you have an elderly parent who might benefit from live-in care, speak to our expert team today on 01980 846690 or via our online enquiry form to learn more.